back to breathing!

finally we can breathe again, at least a bit :-)
please go see this photo on beirut live, it's amazing: :-)
Beirut Live

no words at the moment.

i am still here. just don't have much to say these days. i am looking somehow to find reality again and identity.
but all is good.

"the future is stupid"

i want to sleep. reality seems too real tonight. like a blinding light that hurts the eyes. memories burn my soul. "the future is stupid" (i read this somewhere today.)... and the past is intelligent?!
one day it will all make sense.

nothing.

berlin2beirut.

check this out.


berlin2beirut

leave or return or stay or NOT.

while the most common question during the war was "are you gonna leave or stay in lebanon??!" (with a slightly panicking tone of voice :-P) it is now "when are you going back to beirut??!" (also in a slightly hysterical manner), i have been asked this question only today already at least 4 times (and it's been only 2 hours that i'm awake) :-D!
i can feel the current mood in beirut although i am still far away. it's wonderful to see people returning already, it gives me hope and joy. and soon i will be one of them.

and...!?

after reaching a kind of ceasefire, israel and HA are both not hesitant in declaring their own victory, i ask myself who the real winner is in this disgusting war?!...

on the lebanese side: 1,100 dead, a million displaced, 3,700 injured, plus the israeli army back again on lebanese territory. may i ask what facts of the above indicates a victory?
and as for israel, i guess they never dreamed of being fought back that hard. to me their operation in lebanon seems totally useless, it did in the beginning and it does now even more. a month of fighting, killing, destruction - for nothing!


to me there is no winner. and no looser.
but there is us, the lebanese people, whose lives were turned upside down from one day to the other. who now have to live with shortage in gasoline, electricity, medicine, whose nerves are wrecked and whose future is uncertain in a lot of cases.
plus, as i already said before, i don't totally trust this truce. i will return to lebanon with the awareness that the possibility of war is always present at anytime.
a very stressful way to live, if you ask me.

L.A. loves Beirut Vol.2!

natascha - thank you so much again!! love love love!
people, go check this out!

L.A. loves Beirut Vol.2

new.

i slept 10 hours in a row for the first time in weeks. i woke up with a complete different state of concsiousness and to the news of the ceasefire agreement. which, as i am very supersticious, i don´t trust yet. not til i see the proof that it´s really working.
but it HAS to.
i want to feel home again.
peace.
peace.
peace.